* E M P O W E R * Y O U R S E L F * Coaching Blog

"Your Never Alone"

2011-07-29T19:29:00.003-04:00

Time passes much to quickly when we place so many challenges in front of us to overcome and conquer. We speed up to keep up. Unfortunately forgetting to enjoy the wonderful moments of our lives. At times, when uncertainty presents itself, we feel the pressure to handle it ourselves. Feeling that we must be strong. Perform as how others would expect us to. It's within those thoughts that we forget that so many are concern and praying for our peace.

It was great to reconnect with an old friend today. Those situations in my life over the past year or so, that moved me to navigate through life alone, finally reminded me how much friends think about us even when we are not involved in each others lives on a daily basis. Our conversation touched upon all the successes and troubles we were facing. The love and support that has never stopped over time. We are truly never alone!

Later in the day, taking a moment to realize how lucky I am, my day reminded me of a short and powerful story that I read some years ago. It encouraged me to remember once again that our thoughts keep us alone much of the time and if we follow our heart we can always feel the love of other no mater what!

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with God. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the "low periods of my life, when I was unsure of myself during troubling times", I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to God,

“You promised me God,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

God replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

Mary Stevenson, 1936

"Attuned With Your Inner-Self"

2010-04-15T18:59:00.008-04:00

If you ever feel your heart and inner soul talk to you, it usually knows the right decisions to make. The problem is our educated minds, which many times complicates and scrambles our inner messages. Your initial gut feeling usually is the right one to follow.

The more you become attuned in with your inner-self and learn to live a simpler life, the happier and more fulfilled your life will become.

"Unlocking the Law of Attraction"

2010-03-26T09:26:00.004-04:00

Spend time each day in prayer or meditation.

Stay true to your purpose.

Believe in your dreams.

Focus on the positive.

Always have gratitude.

Be passionate about life.

Be generous.

Do the things that make you happy.

Listen to your inner voice...

Say When It's Time To Focus

2010-03-25T07:10:00.005-04:00

Sometimes we get interrupted. Sometimes it's good to let our consciousness flow and our minds wander. Sometimes it's time to focus on one task and let other cares and ideas slip away. We have so much power in this marvelous world. One of the powers available to us is dedication, commitment, and focus on the task at hand.

Learn to focus on one thing you want to do. If you've been struggling with and procrastinating about something, make a commitment to focusing on that task until it's done.

Feeling Inner Peace During Difficult Times

2010-01-28T09:00:00.004-05:00

How and why should we feel inner peace even when we perceive that our world is seemingly falling apart? Before I try and answer that through my experiences, please permit me to share what's in my heart.

It has been asked of me to put God before all else (including spouse, profession, material things, and even our children), but why is that? The reason is, I believe, is that all things can be taken away from you, but not God. All things in your life, no matter how much you don't want it to be true, is transient, for change is a constant thing. Therefore, if you place your true inner happiness on anything that is transient, you are sure to lose it when the object of your love or attachment is removed in some regard. No matter how rich you are, no matter how healthy you are, no matter how young you are, all things come to and end. Not one cent that you collect and save now is to go with you when you die. But what is going to go with you is your current state of consciousness.

There is a nuance to the statement of "put God first" that most people don't understand. This does not mean "love nothing but God" for God is everything and everyone. The point of the above paragraph, I believe, is that you should not love just one thing or just one person(s). If God says, "Love me before all others" and "God is All That Is", what God is asking you to do , I believe, is step out of Duality. God is only asking from you what God is already doing, and that is, loving all equally and seeing how we are all part of the same Divine spark.

In these times, chaos is going to increase. What we have and hold dear may be lost, whether that is a person, a job, or something we posses, and even our sense of security. There is a reason that God "taketh" away. We are not challenged in times of plenty. We are only challenged when our false illusions are threatened. Our current illusion is that "they" and "we" are different and separate. We have amassed unprecedented material goods and yet, at times, are still as unhappy as ever. This is why God taketh, so we can see the weakness of our path and understand how to capture true bliss, not transient happiness. The only reason we find this process repugnant is because we are seeing through the eyes of ego.

Chaos comes before change. Therefore expect some chaos. We prove nothing when we love the lovable. We grow not when times are easy. Our true spiritual selves (for better or worse) come out in crisis. And mostly, this is when we see Duality in people at its highest. If you question this, watch the news reels about the earthquake in Haiti, showing people toting guns around, beating each other up, and overall looking like a demilitarized zone. Looting and human clashes are an amazing thing to arise when chaos emerges.

We are tested on many levels. Sometimes on a personal level, a community, country, or even on a world scale, as in the form of a natural disaster or World War.

The choice is ours - to align ourselves with the "One" and express our intentions that brings about the inner peace we seek.

In the end, our decision to accept the course put before us and having gratitude for the life we experience, slowly emerges the peace to understand that these occurrences were selected by our inner soul to feel one with God. With presence, the gifts then may be realized and hopefully understood!!!

Be Present Now

2009-10-20T08:55:00.004-04:00

Take some time, but not too much time, to see where your journey is taking you. Learn and apply the lessons from your past experiences. Then let go of yesterday. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Even our best prediction or insight about what may come in the future is only an educated guess, no matter how diligently we try to see ahead. If all you look at is where you're going, you'll miss all the wonder and beauty along the way. And once you get there - your future - you may not even remember where you've been. Rushing may be such a habit that you won't enjoy your future once it arrives.

Be where you are right now. See what's in front of you, not what you wish were there. Take time to see, enjoy, and appreciate what's present. Take action if you need to. Or just enjoy the view. You've worked hard to get here. Enjoy it!

The past is important. It's where we've been. The future is important, too. But there's no time - and not time as real - as the present.

Learn to be here, NOW!

Let Go of What You Can't See, Too

2009-10-13T08:57:00.002-04:00

Let life unfold, even if you can't see the good that you want coming your way. Are you worried about what's going to happen next? Has there been a shift in your job or relationship that makes you tense?

Let life unfold.

Don't limit it by your past memories or even by what you can see and visualize that might happen in the future. Don't deny that you feel discouraged or anxious. Stay in the moment.

Let today unfold.

Then tomorrow, do the same. If you've been worrying about something and you can't see how it could possibly work out and there's nothing to do now, then relax and let things unfold.

Sometimes the unexpected things that manifest are better than what we can imagine or see. Even if we can't see the good coming our way. Your higher self can.

Where's My Gratitude?

2009-09-30T09:01:00.001-04:00

It's the second day back to work following a long holiday weekend - life has seemed to come on quickly over the past few days - excitement from being with friends and family and problems presenting themselves from those interactions - bringing all kinds of disruption and chaos to my life today - taken from the very moment of existence - moving into my fears created in my head, through my thoughts! I begin to resolve them one by one, or am I really. An illusion begins through my twisted perceptions. My denial kicks in. Accepting what I can and resisting the one's that appear to be not good for me. Requests and more requests placed on myself... seemingly identifying where the origin of the problems started and how to designing a plan on how to resolve them. I get more and more caught up in the problems - many times forgetting that "I may be the source of these problems I trying to overcome". Their is a solution - but how do I find it in a healthy manner. Am I acting out to get my way. Most times, it becomes apparent over time, that when I do not get what I want, when I want, the fear of these emotions consume me. I begin to act out against the people I love and enjoy having in my life. I get caught up in the importance of my life, forgetting that it really isn't my life to begin with - only the graceful life to do it to the best of my ability during each interactions presented before me.

Learning to return to the moment is the task during fearful times. Not the fearful times of being at home during a major thunderstorm, but those moments when life feels as it's beginning to slip away without me. Learning to find how to deal with those unknowingly felt blessing being placed in my life is a step difficult for us humans. Or it is - asking for direction is the answer. Humility to remember that everything in this life is created to move us along a path of freedom. But, how it hurts when I do not feel this way.

Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

2009-08-07T10:19:00.011-04:00

Often throughout our day, when an incident arises, we intuitively know what we want and need to do. It's clear. We've already got that lesson under our belt. Our hearts and inner guides are clearly speaking to us about what we want or don't want to do.

But then we "think" - I should be open to change and new ideas! Maybe what I want is wrong. Could it really be that what I want is right? Probably not. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about."

We're creating this angst ourselves.

Be open to new ideas. We're not always right in what we believe. Stay open to examining and changing your beliefs and ideals. But don't spend all your time second- and third- guessing yourself either. Your life will whiz by. You don't get anything done. And chances are, those second, third, and fourth guesses will lead you back to the place you started from.

Be Grateful For The Wind

2009-08-04T12:26:00.000-04:00

It's easy in our lives to think that we'd be so much happier without that problem, that situation, those conflicts, those people disturbing our peace. What a hassle, what a ordeal, we think. Why can't our life just be calm and serene, peaceful, with no interruptions and bothersome events?

Sometimes, though, resistance is necessary! While it's important to live in a calm, nurturing enviornment, sometimes resistance is essential for growth. Take a moment. Look at how your problems have shaped you into who you have become. Living by the values you honor each day of your life!

When problems and challenges arise, they force us to examine our ideals, our sense of integrity, our honesty - become alert - and often during these times you learn something new about others and ourselves. Even our enemies, rivals, and competitors give us something to push against. They help us define who we are and challenge us to become our best.

Instead of complaining, grumbling and arguing about that problem or circumstance, thank it for being there. Right now, this moment, the resistance in your life is giving you something to push against. Bringing out the truth in you!

Be grateful for the wind. You need it to learn to fly!

Mental and Spiritual Healing

2009-07-24T09:52:00.000-04:00

"Fifty-two million American's are depressed at any given moment. This affects our jobs, relationships, and our overall mental capacity to deal with life.

Even the people claiming mental well-being are often only superficially so. Their perceived happiness is very transient and it totally depends on whether they are "in-love", accepted, attractive, successful, appreciated, and so on. As soon as one of these falls through the cracks, their happiness does as well. This is the whole premise behind a mid-life crisis. When the looks go down the drain, companies start hiring younger people, people of the opposite sex stop looking, the aches and pains in your body start, you start to panic at the sudden glimpse of your own mortality, and then realize you've been putting your energy in all the wrong places your entire life. But instead of going within and correcting that misplaced thinking on where happiness truly lies, they get younger dates, hotter cars, facelifts, etc. All this time, they thought their lives were supposed to be a grand episode of Friends, and when they realize that their series has ended, they end up depressed.

Current social happiness is fickle. What I would like to help people with is a permanent, life long, inner happiness. Is this possible? Sure. Most people do not have this inner happiness, but they hide it quite well. Take it from a man who can see into most people's souls. The general public is so dummied up and numb with television, superficial work and relationships that they themselves can't figure out what is wrong with them, and why they never feel truly satisfied and fulfilled.

Mental Healing:

The Brain

There are many components to healing. One is the brain. We create paths in our brains when we think. These form habits and very deep recesses in our tissue. So when we think, thoughts get fired off and travel down the same ingrained path, over and over. When I first took art classes, they used to make me draw with my left hand, eyes closed, or with the picture upside down. They did this because they wanted to open up long closed off brain cells and create new ways of thinking and expressing. We only use 10% of our brain because we continually follow the same paths and don't force ourselves to develop new ones. Think of your main "thinking path" as a raging river, where your thoughts flow. When we force ourselves to think new thoughts they take a detour from this raging river into a tiny creek. This creek still exists in your brain. However, your thoughts will continue to be dominated by the raging river because the path is wide, strong, and the path that your thoughts are used to taking. It takes will power to start to feed your new thoughts into the creek that you have formed. This does not happen overnight, within weeks, or even within months! You are reprogramming your neural networks! However, the good news is that as you take your old negative thoughts from the raging river, and feed them into the positive stream, the raging river will recede and the creek will grow, until one eventually dominates over the other.

Aligning Lower Self with Higher Self

Another component to mental and spiritual healing is getting into alignment with your higher self. But to do that, you have to have an inkling of what I'm talking about. Your higher self is what speaks to you, when you are out of your negativity. It is what encourages you to do things, like find your life path, being true to yourself (meaning true to your higher self). The higher self is about self-love, unconditional love for others, honesty with yourself (honesty with self is evidence of inner love); it is about letting go of ego, fear, separation and all things that are not in alignment with the higher self.

Getting Honest

If you are suffering depression, get ready to change your thoughts. Your thinking has not worked for you, for if it had you wouldn't be depressed. This is part of self-honesty.

Our lives won't change until we change. You will continue being you no matter what job, spouse, home, or country you are involved or live in. The most important thing now is to start being dead honest with yourself. Continue building that self-love that you have started. You may say, "What self-love that I have started?" Well, it's the inner love that wants something better for you. The inner love that drives for change and improvement. It is there. It is always there at the highest level.

Sit down and write out your thoughts, beliefs, fears, and resentment. And for every one of those, find the positive counterpart and practice forgiveness towards self and others. And trust me, you will not believe any of the positives that you write out to be possible, or real (if you did, you would be using them in your daily life). The task is not to instantly convert you, but to start rebuilding who you are. Remember, you recreate yourself every single day of your life by your thoughts. You have already labeled yourself as to whom you think you are, but I guarantee you, who you think you are is very far from who you really are underneath all of your programming! When we change our words, our mind, and then our body, follows. It doesn't matter if it isn't true at the time for it becomes true.

Medication and Drugs

I wanted to share a few thoughts here on medication and drugs. More and more people are using drugs to deal with their depression. Depression has been around since the dawn of man, but the insurgence of depression drugs has only been in the last 50 years. What we were willing to deal with before, we are not anymore.

Drugs do not change our core selves just the ability to deal with that core self. I have several very close friends on depression medication, but they are still themselves and all they are doing is covering up the real issues that led them to depression in the first place. This, to me, is like alcohol or recreational drugs. When the buzz is off, you are still you, despite how high you felt at the time.

These depression drugs are legal (unlike many other drugs) because they allow the person to operate within the social paradigm. Taking these drugs does not bring us any closer to truth. It does not teach us anything about ourselves, for we don't have to work towards it anymore. We seem to make time for the easy stuff, but not the issues that really matter.

Of the people taking medication, many swear by its reprieve from depression, but what happens when we die? Our Prozac won't be at arm's length anymore. Depression medication restores chemicals in the brain to pre-depression states, but what created the altercation in the first place? Our body reacts to our thoughts in every way. If we feel depressed, then we are being told something about our mental well-being. This is like someone who takes pain medicine for a reoccurring body ache. Why are they aching? Your mind, like your body, is trying to tell you something so stop and listen.

Not only are adults dependant on drugs, but the number of American children being treated with psychiatric drugs (Prozac, Ritalin and Risperdal) tripled from 1987 to 1996 and showing no sign of slowing, per a Washington Post article today. It was stated that "Insurers have increased their profits by decreasing the use of psychotherapy, which is more expensive than drugs." The insurance system has given an incentive for medications and a disincentive for therapy. These children will grow up to be adults, and dependant not on resolving their problems, but covering them up with drugs of varying kind. It's a cycle that is becoming predominant in our society.
The only time I would recommend medication is if your life has become so unmanageable that you can no longer take it (contemplating suicide), nor are you in the mental state to deal with it at any level. In that instance, taking medication to simply get yourself under control might be advisable.

And of course, if you are on medication right now, do not go off of it because of what I've written. I am not a physician, and am merely stating opinion based on my experience. What I am suggesting is that you take a deeper look at your issue and address it with the help of a qualified professional and when the two of you decide you are ready, then wean yourself from this.

Mental Health Before Love

It is important that we deal with our inner issues before taking on a romantic relationship. The love we think we'd be giving to a partner wouldn't be love anyways. A person who is deeply suffering would enter the relationship with gaping holes and put incredible pressure (conscious or otherwise) on the mate to fill them. We may deny this, but this is exactly what all people do who are not yet developed. They think love will cure them but it is no better than the medicine they are taking. It is a band-aid on the real issue. It may FEEL like they cure you, that you are better, that you are happier, but it is transient! You have free will and will do what you want, but my suggestion is that you heal and learn to love yourself first. Then you will resonate at a much higher frequency and the mate you attract will be of a much higher nature. Think of your energy right now and your aura. What do you think you are expelling? If you are as blocked as you think you are and negatively programmed, then you will attract someone that is resonating on that level. Just think about that.

If you are already in a relationship and are lucky enough to have a supportive mate, then share with them what you are going through, and work towards a healthy solution.

I am speaking from experience here. I suffered from moments of depression for much of my life. It was only through years of going inward, getting myself in alignment with my higher self, finding self-love, letting go of my ego, loving my fellow man, and reprogramming my negative beliefs that I was able to step out of those shadows.

Why you have blocks, or are suffering is a highly personal issue that only you can get to the root of. Be honest with yourself; start to explore the inner workings of your heart and mind, and you will find the source.

Your progress will depend on how much energy and love you put into yourself. It is a very arduous path that only a few muster the energy for, but the rewards are grand. There is no quick fix here, however, you are the most important thing you have, and isn't that worth all the effort in the world? You can experience peace, serenity, inner love, and wonderful relationships that last lifetimes not only in this one, but the next.

No drug can offer you that."

When We Change - Everything Changes

2009-06-09T09:00:00.008-04:00

"Failure is an opportunity.
If you blame someone else,
there is no end to the blame.

Therefore the Master
fulfills her own obligations
and corrects her own mistakes. She does what she needs to do and demands nothing of others."

"Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight."

"Put this program into action, a thousand times:

Identify the negative feelings in you.
understand that they are in you, not of this world, not in external reality.
do not see them as an essential part of "I" - these things come and go.
understand that when you change, everything changes."

I am willing to see how and where I need to change...

Tao Te Ching
A New English Version
By Stephen Mitchell
Verse #79

Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 67

Awareness - The Perils and Opportunities of Reality
Anthony De Mello
Sleepwalking, pg. 89

Success AND Spiritual Growth

2009-06-02T09:00:00.008-04:00

There is a notion floating around in race consciousness that many people believe. It looks something like this; one can be either successful or spiritual.

As if there is a difference. The language used by those who talk about being *successful* and those who talk about *spiritual growth* comes down to a choice of words. And yet they both strive to accomplish the same thing.

Take these two paragraphs:

(1) Success is a process; thus being successful is a day-to-day encounter. We win some, we lose some, but the important thing is that we learn, and from this knowledge, further success is made possible.

(2) Spiritual growth is a process; thus to grow in spirit is a day-to-day encounter. We win some, we lose some, but the important thing is that we learn, and from this knowledge, further spiritual growth is made possible.

I found the first paragraph in an article dealing with being successful and merely changed a word. The key; both paragraphs say exactly the same thing. Growth of any kind is a process. That is a Truth.

As Spiritual beings having a human experience we win some and lose some. That is a Truth. It's important to learn from all our experiences and use the lessons learned in future endeavors. That is a Truth.

Everyday of your life, you are on a journey of growth. You will see and hear new things - experience new thoughts and emotions - interact with new and different people - or interact with the same people in new and different ways. Each moment of your life is unique. Unlike all others you have experienced before, and unlike all those you will experience in the moments to come.

The question which then comes to mind is this. Why does it seem so important to separate our outer experiences from the source of them? I think its fear. Fear of what *they* might say, feel or think about us. Remember what Marianne Williamson said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. "Use your power. You can be financially and spiritually successful in the same moment.

Here's how -

1. Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life

2. Live Your Life On Purpose

3. Be Willing to Pay the Price

4. Stay Focused to accomplish those four - (a) look inward. (b) develop your potentials. (c) search for meaning. (d) recognize interconnections.

Know that you need not walk the path alone. Find someone in your circle of influence and/or environment who feels good, someone who is gentle, someone you feel you can open up with and ask questions.

Heck, it could even be me!

The Simple Joy Of Living From A Grateful Heart

2009-05-24T18:00:00.010-04:00

"If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.

If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.

Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you."

-Lao Tzu

"God's Will Works In Marvelous Ways"

2009-05-21T22:03:00.003-04:00

It happened again - out of nowhere. Those situations that present themselves so very unexpectedly! But why? Why now? Is their a lesson to be learned... again?

Many times throughout my life certain individuals would appear during my day from "out of the blue" - an old friend, a past lover or a previous business colleague. Generally, someone that I have been out of touch with for quite some time. At first, we share our hello's and begin catching up on how things have been since we saw each other last. At the same time, deep within myself, I wonder what does it all mean. The universe does work in mysterious ways.

Today, it is my choice to believe that I am guided through all my affairs. That god's grace places people in my life to move me towards my destiny. It's important for me to stay focused and aware as to my part in the process. Remembering to perform god's will over mine each and every moment of the day. Only then will I see and experience the importance, with the help of others, of the bigger journey that I am on.

Tonight was no exception. I received emails from two previously employees that I have not spoken to or communicated with for numerous years. My first feeling was that of surprise - I recalled the many embarassing situations that I had placed many members of my practice staff in during those years. I revisited my past, for only a moment, to honor the recognition of the times then and the life of today. The emails expressed feelings of honor and support. Expressing their feelings of how they remember an individual during a dark time of their life. Overwhelmed by the words of sincere encouragement - I found myself pausing as to ask my soul to guide me as to what I should do with this unfolding situations.

How do I respond? Immediately I recall the importance of the principles I live by - honesty, hope, faith, courage, discipline, perserverence, service, humility, willingness, brotherhood of man, and the presence of god. Oh, how my soul can guide me if I get out of the way. Those thoughts in my head making things more complicated as my "ego" works me over asking all kinds of questions that will ultimately bring about anger and FEAR! Stay with my heart - I tell myself for there lies all my answers to what's right in me.

I pause - take some time to ask for direction - for guidance from my heart. What shall I say? I begin to feel peace as the clarity of situation unfolds. I begin to write down those words that come freely from my heart. It get easier and easier. Wow - once again god's grace brings the calm I seek. I remain unclear as to the lesson that I should come away from the experience. I understand that perhaps I will never know... But perhaps, just perhaps, it will become apparent to me when once again the time is right and god works his will for me in the most special way again! Until then - live in the moment and feel the wonder of the universe.

Say When It's Too Much Compassion

2009-05-16T21:00:00.008-04:00

Sometimes, it's easy to step across that line and have too much compassion for the people in our lives. Although compassion is good, too much compassion can cripple the people we're trying to love. We understand so clearly how they feel that we don't hold them accountable for themselves. Too much compassion can hurt us too. We can wind up feeling victimized by and resenting the people we're experiencing too much compassion toward. We're so worried about their feelings that we neglect our own.

"Too much compassion means we don't believe in others enough to let them do what they need to do to help themselves. It's a way of telling them, "You can't." Your can't handle your reality. you can't learn your lessons. You can't handle the truth, so I'll treat you like a helpless child.

Too much compassion can leave us prey to victimization and manipulation. We're so worried about how the other person feels that we neglect to take care of ourselves.

Here are some guidelines about compassion.

If we're creating a problem for ourselves to solve someone else's dilemma, we're probably crossed the line.
If we're so worried about another person's pain that we're neglecting our own emotions, we've probably over-involved. If guilt is the underlying motive for our behavior, maybe what we're practicing isn't compassion. The lesson here isn't to stop caring about others. Instead, we need to respect other people's right to learn their own lessons.

Too much of anything isn't a good thing. If we've crossed that line into too much compassion, we can step back into the safe zone and use a lighter touch. "

More...Language of Letting Go
Melody Beattie
May 9th
Pages 145-146

Miracles Can Happen

2009-05-12T10:39:00.003-04:00

To realize a miracle is happening, one needs to believe that it is possible. Today I truly believe that miracles occur in all aspects of my life.

At exactly 5:30PM on May 6, 2009 - a miracle that stated back in May of 2004 came full circle. Never could I have imagined that the circumstances in my life then would ever have led me to this day. Even in my most outrageous dreams could I ever believe that the result of a phone call today could ever happen.

You ask what?

On May 12, 2004 - a series of event would begin to occur. Angels began appearing in my life, although at the time they were dressed in costumes. Months would eventual pass - day after day, it was suggested to dig deep into my soul. The honesty of who I was, regardless of how bitter it tasted at the time, would become more and more apparent to me. Many days I didn't want to acknowledge it's truth. It was, I thought, easier to live in denial of the life's reality. Fortunately, that was not a choice at the time. A battle was being waged against myself - a sick mind was to be restored and recovered back to health - a miracle was in the making.

At first, I was told how being alive was a miracle. I didn't really feel it at the time, but I listened anyway. Hurdle after hurdle, I was taught to believe that only a miracle could have brought me to this point. Still, I didn't feel it in my heart! Then one day - things began to change. Awakening occurred... I came to realize that I could not have been able to reach that phase of my quest without some help from above. Yes - for the first time - I truly felt that I was capable of being a miracle. I couldn't explain it - I came to realize that I wouldn't be able to. Thus started my journey into hope and faith.

Anything in god's world is possible.

"BE DO BE, not DO BE DO" - The Secret of Elite Performance

2009-05-09T10:00:00.003-04:00

I have shared in the past about the moments of enlightenment I've had over these past five years. I thought from living these wonderful experiences that produce tremendous insights, I would be able to master being in this state of presence all the time by getting more of it, if I were to work on it more, have more therapy, attend more support meetings, be a part of more groups, received more training - JUST OBTAIN MORE...

I used to think enlightenment was all about getting yourself ready to act the part. Most people have given up believing they can make a difference and have sold their souls for the comfort of enough pieces of silver to satiate themselves with life in consumer paradise. This is ultimately unsustainable.

As Joseph Campbell said "people build the ladder of success to find they've placed it against the wrong wall". Joseph Riggio calls this "structural illformedness". In essence, I thought I had to be doing stuff that got me to feel the way I wanted to be rather than starting with myself and being the way I want to be first. As Joseph says it's "BE DO BE, not DO BE DO :-)." Now I don't NEED to be the person centre stage - I get MUCH more satisfaction BEING ME. One of the key secrets to elite communicators is that they're NOT "doing a performance" as in NOT being genuine or authentic and just acting as if. What they are doing is being themselves, open, authentic, being vunerable and sharing themselves, their real humanness with others. This, for those that have the courage to do this generates the charisma that is magnetically attractive. But this is not for everyone, as I said it takes courage to step up.

I actually don't want to work with every client that comes to my coaching practice. Most people want their solution to match how they have defined their problem. A nice easy safe answer, a band-aid, sticking-plaster, not a cure or shift. A painful change for the time being - most likely to not be repeated when the same situation should arise once again in the near future.

I work with people who start building the structural wellformedness. From here it's not a question of techniques to "not stutter" - it's just not doing the old patterns which are usually about where tension is held.

As I have "came to believe", I could still "stutter" if I wanted to, but instead I've gone where the problem is NOT so that's not who I am any more.

Got Goals?

2009-05-07T10:45:00.007-04:00

Do you have clear goals for this new year? Are you wondering how to achieve your goals? Good solid plans and a foundation for success will help you create life and business on your terms. It's never to late...

Here are 10 steps to set and achieve meaningful goals. The Ten Steps to Success can be used over and over, whenever it's time to chart your course again.

Steps to Success

1 - Clear the decks. It is important to release negative energy caught up in past events. Say goodbye to past mistakes, frustrations, or disappointments and keep your focus on now. In order to reach new goals, you will need all the positive energy you can muster!

2 - Create a Vision. A vision for your life is like a magnet pulling you forward. A clear and meaningful vision is essential to staying motivated and focused. This is your dream, purpose, and mission you know you want to live. It is important to be able to see it, feel it, taste it and know it is possible for you. Write it, draw it, collage it, sing it, whatever keeps it alive!

3 - Prioritize. From your vision, decide what aspects are most important. For example: If your vision includes several new business projects, create a priority list starting with the project that you are most passionate about.

4 - Set definite goals. Achievable goals are reasonable and specific. They are written down, and specify what, when, and how. Create deadlines, detailed steps, visible reminders, daily reviews, and consistent action. This takes time, but it’s critical to getting the results you want. Remember the carpenter's rule for increasing effectiveness, "Measure twice. Cut once".

5 - Commit. What does commitment to your goals mean to you? Do you think of drudgery, or excitement? Success over the long term stems from a commitment that is grounded in excitement. Read your vision every day to keep the excitement fresh.

6 - Create a Foundation for Success. Increase your chances for success by including a plan for each of the following:

Mind Management – Take charge of your thinking. Negative thinking is like an anchor when you are trying to move forward into new territory. Write out positive, confident beliefs and thoughts that you will entertain for your success, and read them frequently.

Time Management – Schedule your time for effectiveness, and be accountable to the actions you have planned. Don't overcommit and curb your time wasters. Use a calendar

Emotion Management – What helps you get back on track when you experience disappointment, discouragement, or doubt? Set up a support system of friends, peers, service providers, and a good self care program so that you bounce back quickly. Be sure to include fun and humor as part of the process in reaching your goals.

Environment management – How will you handle all the distractions? The phone calls, e-mail, noise, too many ideas in your own mind? It pays to address each potential distraction with concrete action. For example, if you find that responding to e-mail is a time thief and reduces your productivity, select a reasonable amount of time to respond to e-mail, schedule it, and stick to it!

Gremlin management – Gremlins are everything else within your own make up, the patterns and behaviors that get in the way of your success. Procrastination is one of the most familiar to all of us. With mindfulness and conscious attention to your thinking and actions, you can change old habits. If you need help making a change, try coaching. Don’t let anything stop you!

7 - Take action. Each goal can be broken down into small steps. Think about each long term goal and “rewind the tape” in your mind. How did you get there? What steps did you take? Write down the steps, put them on your calendar in such a way that each task can reasonably be accomplished.

8 - Evaluate and Revise. This is very important! Schedule a review session each week where you look at your results so that you may:

Learn from mistakes

Celebrate successes (no matter how small)

Revise plans if needed

9- Keep the faith. Who or what will you call on to remind you of your greatness and your ability to reach your goals? Support Group? Inspirational Books? Friends? Peers? Life Coach? Be prepared to use these resources.

10 - Use the Steps to Success process whenever you set a new goal. It is my hope that this outline will help you create your vision for the new year.

Ready, Set, Action!

Happiness

2009-05-05T09:50:00.020-04:00

Look to this day!

For it is life, the very life of life.

In its brief course

Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:

The bliss of growth,

The glory of action

The splendor of achievement,

For yesterday is but a dream

And tomorrow is just a vision,

And today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness

And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore to this day!

Such is the salutation to the dawn.

Kalidasa

Life is GOOD. BE HAPPY!

The Peaceful Calm Within My Heart

2009-05-04T14:55:00.040-04:00

Finding the balance and peace in one's life is a responsibility. The responsibility that has been provided to us by grace, and I believe, to be cherished and upheld within our hearts. This responsibility moves us to create and sustain the life we dream about. It's not to be taken lightly or intentionally sabotaged. It's to be nourished in everything we do. Yet during many moments of our day, when challenged by overwhelming circumstances, we can ultimately behave in a manner that can poison our desired sense of calm. We act as if to dismiss its importance in our lives by simply overlooking how our co-dependent behaviors destroy the feelings of being close to our souls.

Why does situations in my life get so out of hand? Is it the people I associate with? Is the way I'm pushed to behave or respond because of the people I interact with during my day? Is it because their are so many crazy people in the world that seemingly show up in front of me during my journey through life? Could it be that no one understands that I have the best course of action the majority of the time and will not listen to reason? What's a person to do - all I want is to be peaceful throughout my day and enjoy the beauty of living...

The lessons for many of us does not originate in how we can change others or avoid others during our day. It starts within us! The importance of understanding this manner of living is underscored by this wonderful saying that has become a intregal part of my daily living.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can

not change, the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."

My approach to living a peaceful life starts with my responsibility to create it. It is a privledge gifted to us, either to empower or abuse, based on our daily maintainence of our spiritual presence and shared during our interactions with others. It is to be cared for as a parent loves a newborn baby. It is be exercised - becoming part of our spiritual awareness in all the aspects of our daily happenings.

My understanding of peace has evolved over the years. Initially believing that when there is not anything happening - peace will follow. My understanding today is much different. By allowing the presence of peace to be felt each and every day - even when life comes calling like a hurricane. Many morning throughout the week I'm reminded of this quest to finding peace in all that I experience by reading a meditative phrase written by an unknown author...

Peace... it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

What a wonderful way to start my day!

The Power of Intent - Thought Manifests as Word

2009-05-02T10:49:00.034-04:00

The realization that the power of my thoughts lead to the words I use to communicate to other and subseqently affects the behaviors I display was a relatively new concept to me back in 2004. I trusted that all that I observed without question - believing that what I interpreted to be going on was only as I saw it. It later became clear to me that my perceptions - either accurate or delusional - DID affect every single relationship in my life.

"Self-centeredness - that is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invaiably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a postion to be hurt."

It was never more evident than with the interactions with my family and friends. Time and time again, being judgemental concerning the situations happening in my and others lives, I would conclude that things were right or wrong based on my perceptions. My life was a journey to avoid the "wrongs" and accepts and approve the "rights" in any given situation of myself and others. Never did it cross my mind that knowing right from wrong was beyond my own personal slanted perceptions. Today, right from wrong does not have the impact as it did in the past. Practicing being non-judgemental - as described by Don Migual Ruiz in the "Four Agreements" has allowed me to realize that I can relate to all the experiences that my friends and family go through and how I've gone throught them in a similiar fashion in my life also.

The power of the words that I use today - owning them with honesty - have had an immense impact on how I feel about myself and how I see and relate to other. Channeling my thoughts through prayer and meditation has helped guide my thoughts from disease negative thinking to positive inspiring action. Those couple of seconds before responding to a question or statement, has provided me the awareness to understand that the words I am about to choose should be choosen carefully and expressed with love not hate. Whatever I say, it must be accurate and honest - takes on a new meaning today. I must own my words and take responsibility for them. I do not have the right to say whatever I may want to say without realizing that the gift of speech is not one to be taken lightly. I must be held to what I say.

This undertanding is most obvious to me in the insight provided by Mahatma Gandhi (1869–1948) - the political and spiritual leader of India.

Keep your THOUGHTS POSITIVE because
your thoughts BECOME YOUR WORDS.

Keep your WORDS POSITIVE because your
words BECOME YOUR BEHAVIORS.

Keep your BEHAVIORS POSITIVE because
your behaviors BECOME YOUR HABITS.

Keep your HABITS POSITIVE because
Your habits BECOME YOUR VALUES.

Keep your VALUES POSITIVE because
your values BECOME YOUR DESTINY.

Practicing this enlightenment creates consistency in how I now relate to everyone in my life - friends, family and strangers. There is a sense of deeper connection in my interactions - a caring to respect others while respecting myself for who I am. The gift of loving another starts with loving myself. Only when I respect what I say of myself, will I be able to do the same to others. The power of words is meant as an expression of my heart and should not originate in my ego or mind. Happy go I as I speak the truth from my soul...

Reacting vs Responding

2009-05-01T09:14:00.036-04:00

From my earliest days growing up I was told that performing tasks quickly and accurately will benefit me during my educational training at college, while implementing my many business objectives during my career, overcoming my daily challenges and obstacles, assisting me in my climb to success, and allowing prosperity in athletic competitions. What they didn't tell me was that sometimes that quick response may lead me to unhealthy decisions that could affect many aspects of my life in the seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years ahead.

We communicate with others at the speed of light. Conversation start, move quickly through many discussions, each having a degree of impact on who we are. Slow means being left behind or unable to keep up. The power of listening is lost. Allowing ourselves to be breatheless is the norm. Full steam ahead! We formulate our response before another person finishes their sentences. Judging ourselves and others after hearing a single word spoken. Readying ourselves to anticipate the next move or comment swiftly. We pattern ourselves to have all the answers and potenially harmful solutions at the tip of our tongues during our interactions. Standing helpless wondering why life is so complicated and living with the intent to be right all the time with a high degree of perfection in all that we do. Why has being right and knowing any given situation going on become so important in our daily lives? Ahh, our minds feed on us being ahead of others - smarter and more able - to be out in front while leaving everyone behind. Our minds place less importance on our spirtual quality of our lives - more time in the quest to create a hopeless & helpless existence to drive ourselves crazy in success.

What ever happened to slowing down and evaluating how we would like to handle a given situation? How can I respond to given challenges in my daily life that will promote healthy living? The anwser is as easy as breathing - but my mind will tell me that it can not be that easy!

I have now come to realize that NOT making decisions quickly is the starting point to healthier living! Modifing my response by providing myself some time to determine how I might like to proceed has provided me many new opportunities. I now can ask for help from others, appeal to their experiences, sleep on those ideas, and finally formulate the given response that takes into account many aspects of our complicated lives. I find myself not having to apologize for my behaviors as often - being able to make amends when I am wrong and not undergoing a deep sense of guilt or embarassment over statements that I have made or actions that I have taken.

Realizing that I have never really signed up to make myself crazy throughout my life - my ego NOW has taken a back seat - although it still wants to make my life a living hell often - to a more spiritual life of being in the moment. Living in the NOW - experiencing life as an observer without the desire to be right or wrong. Feeling others situations and choosing carefully how I may want to interact or not. Allowing others the space to go in the direction they may need without harming myself in the process and taking others prisoners during my day.

We are gifted at birth with all the spiritual "Wisdom of the Universe".

"All human beings are born with all the wisdom of the universe imprinted on their soul. It is inthe DNA of everything. Indeed, "DNA" could very well be used as an acronym for DivineNatural Awareness. Every living thing has this natural awareness built in. It is part of the system. It is part of the process that you call Life. This is why, when people are confronted with great wisdom, it often sounds so familiar to them. They agree with it almost at once. There is no argument.There is only a remembering. It is part of their Divine Natural Awareness. It is said to be "in their DNA." It feels like, "Ah, yes, of course."

Home with God, Neale Donald Walsch, Page 5

The answers are within us. Trust less our thinking and more on the beacon of insight that has been set aside way to often. Reconnect to the source of energy that will steer us to peace. Allow ourselves the time to ask what is right inside us throughout our day and gratefully accept the many responses that we are privledged to experience in our journeys with others. STOP... BREATHE... BREATHE... BREATHE - RESPOND carefully - feel the peace within us come to the surface!

Letting Go

2009-05-01T00:01:00.011-04:00

Today started like many days in the past - my eyes opening - my first thoughts of gratitude for having another day. It was still dark, sun was beginning to rise and the kids were starting to get ready for another day of school. Showers, getting dressed, eating breakfast and driving to the bus stop. But today also started with some sadness. My oldest child was not to go to school today, but prepare for a 15-day trip to Israel. Having never been apart for that amount of time and certainly that distance, I began to worry and wonder how I would be able to help her if she should need it from across the world.

Morning prayer and meditation started my journey for the day. I was reminded of all those lessons I have had to learn to be able to live a life of freedom from the worries that I might create in my mind. Knowing that I must trust the energy of the universe to guide my daughter's journey to the promise land. Additionally, it was about my journey of "letting go".

I live my life with the opportunity to provide guidance and experience to the most precious gifts ever placed into my life - my children. I'm reminded that it is not about telling them how to live but allowing them the opportunity to live their lives. I trust that these experiences that she is about to begin will be as important as the lessons I learn throughout my day also. Both are as important. I seek comfort in knowing that she must also find that inner strength - our souls - to help navigate the direction we are to take on a daily basis. It can not be told to a children - but must be experienced.

We drive to the school to meet all the others traveling today. Smiles, hugs and laughter fill the air. Mothers and fathers walking around anxiously and excited at the same time. Then the time came - kisses and hugs - and more kisses and hugs with tears. They boarded the buses to start their trip to the airport, then boarded the plane, found their seats - and began an experience that will certainly touch upon their souls.

As the day comes to an end, I give thanks for another wonderful day of learning. I'm reminded that I've been placed in this universe to do my very best and provide support and love to all individuals of this world. I'm also reminded that my daughter is in gods hands now... although I realize that she has ALWAYS been in god's hands. It's only been an illusion to believe that she has been in my hands only!